Zoro's Dilemma
by Ms. Mumpsimus
Summary: Ace loves his baby brother more than anything... and Zoro is about to experience it firsthand. Rated T for language.


**Disclaimer:** I own none of these characters.

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Zoro scratched his head in effort to subdue his boredom. He had been lying motionless for three straight hours after all.

He looked at Ace who was still busy fixing his motorcycle outside the house. The young man had been working on it since yesterday and given the beating it had received from the gang last week, well, fixing it within the month would be miracle, even for Ace's caliber.

The scratching persisted as a big yawn escaped Zoro's mouth.

He looked at the old clock on the wall.

It was two in the afternoon.

He reckoned Nami, his older sister, was still making a rumpus back at their home with their parents about going to Sapporo for the weekend.

Zoro smirked. Well, as long as he couldn't hear her scream and yelp, he was good.

A tiny whine was heard when his body shifted.

Zoro looked at his tummy and a small smile formed on his lips. Lying on top of his stomach, face down, was a small baby, eight months to be exact, purring like a contented cat.

Yeah. Babysitting his friend's baby brother was the most relaxing way to spend the afternoon. He closed his eyes, feeling the unhurried breathing of the small kid on top of him.

"You alright there?" Ace called after he, apparently, heard the baby whined.

"Yep."

"I heard him whining."

Zoro relaxed his shoulders again and smirked. "He said he's dreaming about you."

"Really?" An excited bark was heard from outside. "He's dreaming about me? Is he – Wait. Why is he whining, then?"

"Because he's dreaming about you," Zoro played along, feeling the fresh air blew his hair.

"What does that mean?"

Toying with Ace's hilarious brother complex attitude was just too entertaining. Zoro's smirks just continued to grow. Well, until the baby, who was just resting on his tummy a while ago, made his way to his upper body.

Soon, Zoro started to feel small, little fingers fondling on his chest.

Panic started to grow inside him when the baby started making slurping noise on top of him...

The bastard was looking for something to suck!

"He's searching for your teats, my friend," said Ace, who was now standing inside, snickering in front of the door. His familiar hat was resting at the back of his neck.

"Don't say 'teats', asshole!"

"Hey! No cursing!"

Zoro paid Ace no heed as he started taking the baby off his chest. This just made the situation worse as the baby started to cry.

"You're making Luffy cry, Zoro! Unforgivable!"

"But he's about to suckle my teats!" he yelped indignantly when Luffy extended his small, pudgy neck in effort to reach his chest. His little arms were not helping at all, too. They were strong for his size. A typical member of the D family! When Zoro further widened the distance between the two of them, Luffy didn't waste a moment and cried again, soliciting a growl from his big brother.

The little bastard...

Zoro almost cursed again.

"It's not so bad, you know," Ace said, matter-of-factly, sitting in front of Zoro and Luffy.

A vein popped on Zoro's forhead. "Oi!"

"It's true."

"Are you saying he tried sucking your own and you let him?!"

"Why not? He's my brother, you know. I'd do anything for him."

Zoro paled.

Damn Ace and his fucking brother complex!

"LUFFY IS NOT GOING TO FEED ON ME, DAMN IT!" Zoro shrieked.

"I said no cursing! 'Sides, he's not really going to feed on you, baka. He's just wanted something to suckle. That's all. An infant has a biological need to suckle, you know."

"Then give him an empty bottle or something!"

"I haven't washed them since last night."

Zoro almost fainted when Luffy finally got a hold of his arms.

"Why is he so fucking strong?!" He's just a fucking baby, for fuck's sake!

Ace laughed. "You haven't even seen him tackle Riley. He's hilarious." Riley was the family's big dog.

But what was happening to him was not. "Stop him!"

"Surrender to your fate, Roronoa Zoro."

"Damn you, Ace! I'll freaking kill you some da – arrrgh!"

After a while, Luffy was heard cooing while Zoro's struggling voice slowly died down.


End file.
